Saturday, July 07, 2018

What dreams may come






Ever wake up from your dreams straight up thankful? Maybe you didn’t have nightmares, but the feelings that your dreams left you with were so bad that you were just thankful they were not real. That’s how I felt this morning.

In all honesty, I think it’s boring to hear about other people’s dreams. Dreaming is such a personal thing that sometimes it's hard to get on board when other people tell you about theirs. Still, I’m going to tell you about mine from last night.

They were basically a big mishmash. Just think of a ball of snow, black snow, that gathers more black snow as it rolls downhill and is filled with images. That’s what my dreams were like last night.

The first sequence was about those shootings that recently happened at that newspaper in Maryland. I dreamed that on the day of the shootings, I had been near that newspaper and had actually dropped into the office for some reason. However, my visit preceded the attack by two hours. In my dream, I thought about how close I had come to dying.

In another sequence I was touring a palace somewhere in Cambodia or something. There was a tour guide and he told us that the temple we were in honored children who had died. In fact, the tour guide said, the dead children, hundreds of them, were actually entombed in the building, in the cement that was under our feet. He said that they had all been buried vertically because space was scarce.

In another sequence, my father was supposed to meet me at a seaside town. The way that he was going to find me was I would turn on my phone's GPS signal and when he arrived at the town, he was going to turn on a program on his phone that would be able to pick up my signal and lead him to me. At some point, he finally arrived, but when he did, he had an entourage -- he was famous! I gave him a hug and told him he looked great. However, later that evening, when he said bye to me for the night, he called me by a wrong name, “John.” This pissed me off big time and I said to him several times, “What the fuck did you just call me?”

In another sequence, one of my friends from the U.S. told me that he understands how some people can be ostracized after they have committed murder because he once killed a woman in self-defense in Spain. I asked him where it happened and he told me at a department store that he had been working at, during a robbery. Suddenly, I was transported to this department store on the day of the robbery. I was standing at the concierge desk and I was right in the middle of the action.

The robbers were actually quite polite, and the whole time I wondered how my friend was going to wrest a gun from one of them, a woman, and shoot her. One of the robbers actually hung out with me and another employee near the entrance, an area that resembled a soccer field. My dog was on this field and this other employee had a ball and tried to throw it at my dog in such a manner that, if it connected with her, would make her tumble over. I told him not to do that and asked him if he was crazy.

In another sequence, one of the last I can remember, I was with my girlfriend at a seaside resort town, a different one from where I had met my father. I wasn’t feeling very well, I just wasn't feeling like myself, and my girlfriend was flirting with many guys. Then someone told me that my girlfriend had been to that same resort town when she was 25 and had been very promiscuous during her stay. This disturbed me.

I have no idea how long it took to dream these dreams, but they seemed to occur throughout the duration of the night. And they sure were disturbing. So disturbing that I woke up on several occasions from them. One time, around 2 a.m., I opened my eyes and said to myself, “What the fuck...wow...what the fuck!” Another time, around 4:30 a.m., when it was still pretty much dark out but not fully, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. But there was one bird that seemed super loud, as if it were singing through a megaphone. I lifted my head, looked through the window onto my balcony and saw that a blackbird was sitting on the railing, singing its little heart out. I thought that that was very beautiful.

No comments: