The Deadly Ones Are in the House

Yesterday I had breakfast with someone who was recently in Chile for a month. Here is a conversation we had.

*** 

“So check this out.”

“OK,” I said.

“So one of our cousins asked us if we wanted to go play soccer in the field. We thought it would be fun, so we said yes. But the field turned out to be this forest of eucalyptus trees that was on a mountain.  

“What?” I said. “That’s crazy. Huh?”

“I know. But wait -- there’s more. At one point, after I had gone for the ball, I saw a huge spider -- one of those that are furry.”

“A tarantula.”

“Yeah, a tarantula, it was sitting on a cement block.”

“Oh my God, are you kidding me?”

“No, and I said to the cousin, ‘What the hell is that!’ and she was like, ‘Oh, don’t worry; they live here,’ and I was like, ‘Live where?!’”

“Oh man . . . that’s crazy.”

“No, no, and then she said, ‘Don’t worry about the tarantulas, they’re not poisonous. The ones you have to worry about are the "corner spiders." 'They're poisonous.' 'And where do those live?' I asked. 'IN THE HOUSE'! Yeah, the deadly spiders live in people's houses -- in the corners or in the crack, near beds and stuff."

“You’re kidding me. ”  

“No, I was so fucking scared.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, and if they bite you, you can die in two days. One of her uncles was actually bit, and he had to go to the hospital.”

“And they live in the houses?”

“Yeah!”

“Holy shit. You must’ve had a hard time sleeping.”

“Yeah, it was really hard for me the first night after she told me that. But, then, you know what I noticed? They keep the beds and other things away from the wall. That way, spiders can’t find places to hide that easily.”

“Wow . . .”

“Yeah, but she told me to close the window at night.”

“Why, so they can’t get in through the window?”

“Yeah.”

“So if the window is shut, they can’t get in at all? Like, there’s no other way? It’s through the window that they come in?

“Yeah, I think so.”

“So, like, if the window is perfectly shut and you're in a sealed room, so to speak, you're OK?”

"Yeah . . ."

“OK, good . . . Wow.”

“Yeah . . . You can imagine. 'Oh, don’t worry about those spiders; they’re not the deadly ones. The deadly ones live in the house.'!"