My Thoughts

But is that what you really want? Do you really think that you can do it? What are you now going to write, fiction? What do you know about writing fiction? But fiction has something in it that even journalism doesn’t. In a way, it’s larger than journalism. It has in it something that can’t be captured in journalism. Yeah, but what will you be up against? You will be up against people who are going to school for fiction, who have been writing it for years. They are trained craftsman. You will be going up against the varsity team. You want that? At least with journalism you had at least been on the varsity team, or warmed up with the players, maybe played once or twice. Can you do it? I mean, you are not the youngest person out there. Is this just another of your little flights of fancy. That would be sad if it were. You’re never really going to get anywhere, then. And what’s up with your English teaching? You used to think you had it down to something of a hustle. But lately it seems like it’s been riding you. You think that you make money, but do you? I’m not fully convinced you do. I think you would need to earn double to make the kind of money that you think you are making. And lately it feels like you’re on a hamster wheel with it. It’s like, Monday morning, morning, Tuesday, go, Wednesday there, Thursday break your back and then Friday chill and make some money, but, really you’re not making money . . . you’re not making much money. And then you do you’re little writing in between. And then you get an idea and you go with it and then you take all these little breaks from it and you write all these little flights of fancy. For what? For your blog. Any real writer would tell you that writing for your own blog, for the 10 or so people who read each post, is a joke. You’re a joke. You’re letting your life pass you by. That’s what a real writer would tell you. Yeah, sure, you can write and you’re pretty good at it, but the only thing that really pushes us  to the next level, that brings out the best in us, is trying to work hard for an audience. You can shoot hoops every day all day from dawn until dusk, but unless you have competition and compete with other people, other players, you will never be that great. By writing on you’re blog, you’re just shooting hoops. And you call yourself a writer. You can read all the great fiction you want and think about all the great fiction you want and read all the good news stories that you want, but if you’re not writing and publishing and doing it in a cool and regular way, you’re not a writer. You’re just someone who writes. What do you want to be? Do you really think that you have the ability, the facility, to be a writer, a real writer, of fiction? Whenever the going gets rough with writing, any time you have to really move heavy stone blocks, you take a break. You write something else. You say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” You find a reason not to do it. That’s because you have no fire under you. You’re writing for yourself. Do you think people will actually read what fiction you have to write? You’re not the youngest. What exactly are you? You’re not as hardworking, not nearly hardworking, as you’d like to think you are.